For some reason I've been stuck in a weird mindset lately. I don't know why, maybe it's being so immersed in books lately, but I've started speaking the way I write! How completely odd is that? Rather than being boring and blah, I actually make intelligent conversation! Even in my sleep, I've been asking Colleen all these philosophical questions that require "quite the vocabulary"! Haha, I love it! It's hilarious!
Anyway, I wanted to write about something different. Something REALLY exciting. You guys, lately I've been feeling a bit of a fire start. That's right, I'm getting excited about God. I don't know when it started, but I'm just getting so, so antsy! I can't stop reading my Bible and journalling, and finding questions, and answering the questions but coming up with more questions. It's about bloody time! I feel like I'm "a baby in diapers" as my RA would say (Mel's quite cool, she'd become a tad bit of a mentor for me lately, I'm so in her dept it's ridiculous, because this person is AMAZING) and it's just, humbling. But wow guys, wow. I love that God's revealing bits and pieces of who I'm supposed to become as a woman of God, and sometimes I sit there thinking "seriously, are you kidding? I'm not like that!" but then I take a good look at myself, and realise yes, I am, it's in there waiting to come out.
One thing I've been trying to do a lot of is just listen, to sit somewhere quiet and think to God, or maybe have some mainly one-sided small talk, but then to listen. And even when I don't get any answer in the least, I feel reassured, unlike last semester when I felt like I was being torn away and pushed further from Him. It's finally happening, I'm taking the faith I've grown up with from my parents and making it my own. I didn't realise it would be such a struggle, but I'm growing so much because of it. It's strange to "become a woman of God", I never took it seriously when I was in highschool, but now, everything's different.
Anyhow, I have some papers to write, so I have to take off. Fun readings!
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