Thoughts that I need to get out of my head?

After this weekend I feel like I have a million and two thoughts and things going through my head; Simonhouse always does this though.

For one thing, how can we choose to feel like we're being "persecuted" about something, anything really, especially if it's something we know we shouldn't do as Christians, if we aren't constantly making a conscious effort to stop ourselves from doing it? Everyone struggles yes, but when you think about it, as a Christian, if we have a struggle, we should be consciously working against that struggle, c-o-n-s-t-a-n-t-l-y. But we get so defensive when someone (we'll use the example of a friend or parent or church member) calls us on it, acting like we're being picked on.

Another thing is this: why are there so many people that choose to look down their nose at someone, when they themselves aren't really a person at all? They simply copy those around them, trying to conform to something they like, without ever being a person on their own. And what happens to them, like, in the future. When they have to finally make a stand and start life on their own, without parents to tell them what to do, to make things happen for them, without friends to mirror and other people's ideas to take on as their own? And is anything even original? Honestly, I don't think so. Everything, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g has been done already. Plagerism doesn't exist, because how can we possibly write a sentence that hasn't been written by some unknown author within the last 6-8000 years, by one of the trillions of people that have swarmed and thought and written before us?

Ugh, my head is so full right now. I don't want to write it out. But I do.

And then there's Simonhouse. The single most beautiful place in the world, to me. Sitting on the old broken dock, watching the sun that takes hours, 4 to be precise, to set, and the constantly changing skies that are NEVER the same, because every night there is a breathtaking sunset that even Saskatchewan can't possibly compare to... the people that ask me to explain what makes Simonhouse beautiful frustrate me so much. It's the kind of beautiful you can't see through someone elses words, it has to be experienced. It's a different kind of beautiful for everyone. Always. Some people love the presence they feel there, how God just always IS, you can feel it, that place is special. Or the types of friendships and relationships formed. Or the nature, or the lake. The music, the experience. For me it's the peace. Honestly, I don't get peace anywhere else like I do there. With the generator running in the background my head can finally think, with the earthy smell I can finally have my senses cleared. With the little girls hugging me I can finally feel some love. When I see the sunsets and the butterflies, the smiles, the history and the natural and simply beauty, I just smile. Because I'm at peace.

I guess I have to go stir my k.d.

University of Toronto?

I was going over their website again, and I can't get over how impressed I am with their languages department. They were a school I had definitely been considering before God called me to Briercrest, but now that I know this coming year will be my last at the lovely 'ol Briercrest, I've found myself drifting back to the Utoronto website again! They offer SO many languages, honestly, all of the ones I want to learn - except for Cree - are on there and available for the learning! It's amazing!

However, that school, as interesting as it is, will have to wait. I'm currently putting the beginnings of my 09-10 travel plans together, it's so exciting! I'll be working, a part-time student (most likely, depending on how demanding the job is, though the government/people in charge of the embassy exchange say that it's not uncommon or difficult for students to work/travel aswell, so we'll see), and be travelling around Europe! It's just so exciting, I can't get over it right now! I mean, I've been making my little travel "where-to" book since I was about 7 years old, I mean, I have some entries I still can't read to this day (I had terrible printing for a while... it was a bad spout!). I can just imagine it, sometimes I lie in bed at night and just picture how the places will be in real life... like, Venice, VENICE! Wow.

Anyway... it was just on my mind. It's so.. ah, exciting! I mean, I'll be learning the languages, in places where they're spoken as the native language (so as to get top results, not to mention memories out the whazoo), and the experiences are going to be insane! And the kinds of inspiration I'm going to be able to find for my writing, and the things I'll be learning, it makes me want to shriek like a kid! I've been waiting my whole life, and now it's only a year away! My parents have finally become supportive of it, though tentatively (especially Mom), and think that it's really what I'm cut out to do for the next few years, and that I'll really excel in the things I try. I dunno.. I just had to funnel some of this excitement, haha. Hope everyone's having a good time!

Love you all!

I've figured Thompson out.

Ok, so for years now, I've been wondering what the heck is wrong with this place. I mean, there are the obvious things, such as if you were to lift Thompson and drop it in a big city's ghetto, we'd fit right in - thanks to excess trash and general needed repair and graffiti. But there's always been something more; something a bit uncomfortable and strange, especially with 90% of it's population. And today, Megan hit the nail on the head. When you come to Thompson, you see people, but you see people at the worst they can be. Teenagers falling into the typical ruts, but taking things way too far, so many pregnant young people it's sad, alchoholism, drugs, rape, violence, dirt, you name it, Thompson has it. Now don't get me wrong, there are exceptions (duh look at me! Just kidding folks :P) but overall, this is Thompson. And it's been getting worse every year.

It's difficult to talk to people who've never been to Thompson or experienced living in it, because they really can't possibly get aa grasp on it. A large part of the problem is just that it's isolated, and that a lot of the northern reserves aroung Thompson aren't given the care and respect they should be given, and so the people living in them end up living in shady and downright bad conditions, and this has a really negative affect on them. These reserves are shutting down and the people living in them are moving to Thompson. And I'm not saying this in a racist way, seriously, because Native people (many of whom I have as friends and have HUGE respect for) have a rich and amazing history and lead great lives that have great impacts. But the reserves, especially in N. Manitoba, seriously need to stop being exceptions to the law, because when the violence and terrible things that go on there are allowed to happen, it ruins the inhabitants lives. Can you imagine if the police in Thompson turned a blind eye?

And what the hell is with everyone becoming EMO?! I HAAAAATE emo culture, oh my word, HATE it. All it does is influence kids to take on a depressing and self-destructive view on their lives, how is this good for them in the least?!

And Thompson churches.. ugh... I almost don't want to start. The churches in Thompson are what hold the key to helping all of these people. Jesus Christ is needed more than ever, but the churches don't do a damn thing. As a congregation, we are ORDERED by Christ to spend time with these people and help them, in each and every way we can. "It is the sick who need a doctor, not the healthy."; yet if a drunk or homeless person were to walk into a Sunday morning service, chances are they'd be asked to leave without a second thought. It makes me sick. A part of me is so glad to get away from this place, but at the same time, I'm so afraid to go, because I'm worried about what's going to become of it. I worry for the few people that haven't slipped into the general concensus, that they'll become just like everyone else.

I want to see change.