It smells in here.

Hurray for random bus creepers :(. So there are quite a few lookers on the bus (unfortunately this *Regina* was their stop, and they are now gone..) and I end up sitting across from some tree-planter who smells and likes to stare at me... not even kidding, I woke up, and he was STILL looking at me! What do I do! Are there such things as transportation-sized restraining orders? Lol.

Anyhow... I'm at the bus stop in Regina, it's rather boring, but I have internet, and therefore want to write on here as my update. It smells a bit, but tomorrow I'll get into Winnipeg, and rather than hop onto the transfer bus to Thompson, I'm going to stay and shop in Winnipeg with the lovely Tiffany Lazar, and then catch the night bus. Assuming that's possible, I sure hope so!

I wrote my first midterm, and realised that clearly I need to spend more time reading the scripture references given to us in classes, because half the exam was on them and I was REALLY struggling. I did well on everything else though, and the persuasive essay, well, you know me, it'll be good ;). I'm so excited to just get home, have a bath (such a rare treasure!), see some friends, and visit my little girls (no, not the siblings, my dogs!). I miss Mom and Dad and everyone, but mostly Mom and Dad, lol. We all know that a sibling to sibling relationship is never as loving as we'd like, right?

Anyway, I'm currently wishing I had thought to bring my sub from the bus. One of the first times I've ever had a cold cut trio rather than a yummy sub. Well, I hope it'll be yummy... they're tasty, right? RIGHT? Ok, clearly the smell in here is getting to me. So, I'll leave ya'll now. Adios!

First thing in the AM:

It's about 9:20 here, which means Colleen is still snoozing, and I've been up for nearly 2 hours. Lol, welcome to one of my mornings :). I just finished doing my little bun and getting dressed (and choosing which warm cozy scarf to wear) and now I'll fill my thermos, pack my bookbag, and head out to the chapel to do some reading/praying before the chapel session starts!

This last weekend was YQ, and it was honestly amazing. The bands were a load of fun, and honestly Family Force Five REALLY put on a fun show, they do all sorts of fun stuff, and just have a great time on stage and stuff... so it rocked. I got nicely trampled in the mosh pit, and Elisha got hit in the eye. Hurrah for her first mosh pit! I must say, it was really nice to get to hang out with her and stuff just the two of us (plus a thousand or so kids) and to get to catch up. I definitely missed that, and now I'm excited because I'm heading home the day after tomorrow! So by Friday I should get to see Peanut, the new house, and my family and friends (I promise the priorities aren't in that order :P).

Anyhow, my week isn't going to be too busy... I miss my RA who left on Thurs. for England to see her beau for the anniversary (isn't that cute? I think I deserve someone with an accent... really now, Claire, when are you going to introduce me to that cousin of yours?), and I'm going to miss a whole bunch of other people when I go home! But then I get to see others who I've been missing and ahhh.. what a bunch of confusing stuff! Next topic? I don't have one :P. See you next time!

Sleazebag.

Ok, I don't even know what to say. I'm not going to go on some rant about the guy, because that would just be acting like I'm 16 and not turning 20, haha. So instead, I'll say this. Watch out for the guys who always want to upgrade. One minute they're sweet and adoring, and the next they've found someone prettier. Ouch eh? Good thing I found this out before we let it grow into more than the friendship, well sort of.

Anyhow, my week has been utterly ridiculous. So busy, I don't know what to do with myself! I need a break so badly, but there's no time! Technically I shouldn't even be taking my term break, because I have a major paper due, and should be studying for midterms. This is awful, I'm starting to lose out on sleep too much again, I mean, I can handle it for a while, but my eyes are all brownish blue underneath, and I feel unattractive.

Umm, I don't really have much else to update. I'm not allowed to get my tattoo, because if they looked into it, I would have broken the school contract that I signed, as well as defied authority, so instead I'll be staying nice and un-inked. I don't really mind though, so far as I can see, it's God testing me to see if I'm willing to be humble and back down, so I'll glady do it.

God wise things are suffering a bit due to the fact that I'm overwhelmed with reading and tutorials and German, etc. But not to a desperate point. I'm still learning new things about Him and myself all the time. It's sort of strange to try and make an actual friendship, rather than a metaphorical one. I used to think I had one, but MAN was I way off. Haha... I love finding out how completely blind and wrong I was before. These journeys really never do end, do they.

"Though God is the powerful thunder, and force behind the storm, it's the gentle whisper of rain that brings refreshment to us."

A weekend of reflection:

Yes, my weekends start on Thursday, actually, they start at 12:10 Thursday afternoon, as I only have one class on Thursdays and Tuesdays. It's Christian Theology II, and I must say, it's been really good this semester. Today was a strange one, our Prof. Peter Mitchell made a recreation (an accurate one too, not one full of bone and sharp rocks, that was several hundred years later that those were brought in) of one of the "whips" used in the flogging of Christ. He demonstrated on a bag of flour, which had completely imploded after 6 hits, and he wasn't swinging hard. It was really strange to see. Because there are two small lead weights placed about an inch apart from eachother on the ends of the 10 short leather strings, it bruises, and eventually tears the skin. After about 10-15 lashings, muscle would be left hanging completely from the body; a lot of people given this punishment didn't live to die on a roman cross. It's quite horrifying.

Anyway, we also learned about the Shroud of Turin, which I now plan to research in detail, because WOW is that an interesting subject. How did the image end up on the shroud, if the only possible explanation is radiation coming from the corpse, which we all know to be impossible? It's been proven that the image (on this shroud there is the face of a man, with a beard, etc.) there are blood markings all over it, pollen samples from a thorny plant found all around the forehead area, etc. And all the pollens found on the shroud are native to Jerusalem. Seriously, you should look up on it if you're bored, some people believe that this was the cloth placed on Jesus after his death.

However, on to the weekend of reflection: I don't think I'm a Christian. That's right, I don't mean that in a strange or bad way either. I realised today that although I know a lot about God, I don't really know him personally. And really, how can you know someone when you don't know them on a personal basis? There's a big difference between growing up reading about Sally, and actually spending time with Sally. I had a few talks today, and this weekend I'm going to take a long time to think, figure out what things are in my duffel bag (don't ask), and really think about going through the narrow gate. My duffel bag can't come with me, there isn't room. I know I want to go through this gate though. Man, Becca has some darn good imagery.

Anyhow, I want to spend a lot of time figuring out who Jesus was, attributes and truths about God, etc. I want to learn about them, I'm seriously so eager, but I'm also really, REALLY, afraid... I don't know why. Maybe because this is lifechanging? Haha. Anyhow, I'll write next week, and we'll see where I've gotten! I'm on a pilgrimmage to find out who this Jesus really was.

So I said to the guy..

For some reason I've been stuck in a weird mindset lately. I don't know why, maybe it's being so immersed in books lately, but I've started speaking the way I write! How completely odd is that? Rather than being boring and blah, I actually make intelligent conversation! Even in my sleep, I've been asking Colleen all these philosophical questions that require "quite the vocabulary"! Haha, I love it! It's hilarious!

Anyway, I wanted to write about something different. Something REALLY exciting. You guys, lately I've been feeling a bit of a fire start. That's right, I'm getting excited about God. I don't know when it started, but I'm just getting so, so antsy! I can't stop reading my Bible and journalling, and finding questions, and answering the questions but coming up with more questions. It's about bloody time! I feel like I'm "a baby in diapers" as my RA would say (Mel's quite cool, she'd become a tad bit of a mentor for me lately, I'm so in her dept it's ridiculous, because this person is AMAZING) and it's just, humbling. But wow guys, wow. I love that God's revealing bits and pieces of who I'm supposed to become as a woman of God, and sometimes I sit there thinking "seriously, are you kidding? I'm not like that!" but then I take a good look at myself, and realise yes, I am, it's in there waiting to come out.

One thing I've been trying to do a lot of is just listen, to sit somewhere quiet and think to God, or maybe have some mainly one-sided small talk, but then to listen. And even when I don't get any answer in the least, I feel reassured, unlike last semester when I felt like I was being torn away and pushed further from Him. It's finally happening, I'm taking the faith I've grown up with from my parents and making it my own. I didn't realise it would be such a struggle, but I'm growing so much because of it. It's strange to "become a woman of God", I never took it seriously when I was in highschool, but now, everything's different.

Anyhow, I have some papers to write, so I have to take off. Fun readings!