Winter Depression anyone?

I admit it, I'm a firm believer in winter depression. The "Winter Blah" whatever you call it. Some say it doesn't happen. Let me tell you, those people undeniably live in places like Florida, or Costa Rica, where it's sunny and warm, and the muscular men can walk around topless all they want, without the terrible blackening effects of frostbite. For those of us living in Thompson, it's inevitable. The weather is shitty, and so is my mood.

Then again, it may also be the small but continuously piling changes that I now call my current life. Honestly, a year ago today, life was so much simpler! Now don't get me wrong, I adore life as I currently know it, but dang, it's gotten strange. Living on my own I've become lonely. I've now solved that problem, but can't technically talk about it on here (ask me if you dare, muahaha, but be prepared to keep a BIG secret!). And I'm outrageously hooked on coffee, lol. It gets me through life, my little cup of happiness. Mmm..

So yesterday was awful, I woke up around 4am, and was throwing up.. not just the usual "ooh I feel sick, I'm going to get sick once or twice" but to the point that I was passing out on the floor, and waking up still givin' er. I actually caught myself choking once or twice. It really was awful. I had to call in sick, for the first time yet, at work, and I felt terrible. Someone from work came by to take me to the hospital, and she said I was green. I thought maybe she meant in a sexy martian type of way, but judging by the disgusted looks of the other people in the waiting room, I'm guessing maybe not. That and the fact that there were open seats beside and around me, yet perfect strangers took to eachothers laps rather than take up the ever so infectious air around me, lol. Jerks! I needed love, not a quarantine!

However, I waited -I believe it was 4.5 hours to be precise- in the smelly room for the doctor, and when I finally got there, he asked me what I had eaten (I didn't dare tell him it was food I made for myself, go figure) and he said I probably had food poisoning. Hmph. Violently ill, and on top of if I'm a terrible cook! But he gave me gravol and told me to stay in bed for two days. So I took the pills, fell asleep, and am back to work today. Feeling sore, too weak to open doors on my own (embarassing, yes) but making mula all the same! Hurrah! Can't hold me down baby!

Anyway, I'm sorry that my life is so boring these days. Honestly, all I ever do is work. I hang out with people from work. Well, a person and her adorable daughter. And occasionally Debbie, if we can catch lunch around the same time. I really need to get my life back in order. I'm such a hermit! On the plus side, I've read about 8 decent books this month alone, and have once again perfected the art of a) the perfect bubble bath.. a loner's delight, and b) the french manicure for my toes. So at least I'm a wonderful smelling and decently pampered and pretty toe-d hermit!

I also have another thing to admit. I smoke. Ack, I said it! I don't do it constantly, it all started because I was bored, and everyone at work does it. And it was originally only the little flavored ones, but I've graduated to actual cigarettes. I'm terrible. But I'm not hooked, I still get the head rushes and feel gross. It's just a way to pass time. And besides, if I do it with a little glass of wine, I feel like those cool writers with their black and white profile shots on the back of pretty novels. I'm such a nut case. Oh well.

PS: I'm so in love with my little apartment, as un-decorated as it still is.. that I'm tempted to NOT have elisha move in with me and into a two-bedroom apartment, and just continue with my boring little one-bedroomed life. Thoughts?

Oh men...

Alright, so needless to say, abs ended up being a bit of a flop. Sure he had the kind of stomach one finds in Calvin Klein underwear commercials, and yes, he makes a lot of money and has cute guinea pigs. But he was majorly lacking in a few other things, a) control over his party lifestyle, like really, cocaine? b) literacy - he thought tactile meant he worked with tiles, puh-lease, and c) maturity. Needless to say, he'll be a great friend, but I couldn't ever be with him. Being stuck in a highschool mindset is not my thing.

Apparently I've charmed another older guy though. I met "S" at a friend's house party, and although he's 31 (I think, I might be off by a year, lol) he thought I was sweet and also quite smart despite being so much younger than him. Now he's interested and trying to get my number, lol. I doubt much of anything would happen with S though, because that's a pretty intense age difference, and even though I like older guys, I barely know him. Mind you, we're friends with the same people, so given some time, who knows?

I've successfully gotten rid of the Calm air guy, he doesn't bother me anymore, which is nice, though there is still a girl trying to get me to date her. Despite my continually pointing out how much I ADORE men. Ugh, lol. Go figure when I'm really not looking anymore, I suddenly get put on the radar. Maybe it's a mental thing that sends off signals "I'm not intersted... therefore I'm sexy."

Anyway, I'm in the apartment, which while I love it, can be a tad lonely now and then. So I think I'll get a little pet sometime. I'm not entirely sure what, but it'd be nice to have a little companion. Maybe I'll get a live in, lol. "Hey you, yeah you, the hot one, wanna come live with me? All I ask is you cook for me, and give me intelligent conversation!" Haha, if only.

Work has been getting a little bit overwhelming, which is why it'll be nice to go down to the cabin-home for a few days. 3 years and over a million dollars later, my family has pretty much finished it! Mind you some of the finer details aren't done, but the house itself is, and we're moved in, and it's liveable! Too bad I don't get to enjoy it, haha. Oh life. But I'm thinking a few days with the lake, skidoo, maybe some ice fishing, and sitting by our enormous fireplace will be awesome, not to mention just seeing the family and having some wine and good suppers. I'm excited. Though I'm definitely going to miss a few people around here, lol.

Anyway, I hope this was a decent enough blog *cough CLAIRE* and I'm sure I'll post again while I'm at the cabin. I love you all, BIIIG hug!

Beth