Kind of confused::

I'm starting to realise that I might not have made the best choices in friends when coming to this school. Like, I have nothing against the people I spend time with, but I've been noticing some bad habits I have that have gotten worse since coming here. I find myself swearing occasionally, and not just little things like "nice ass", but actual swears. I find myself making sexual jokes more often, or them being more crude than usual. I find myself constantly distracted from the things I SHOULD be doing, and instead sitting around talking about random, meaningless things, or watching stupid movies, etc. I want to have friends here that want to see me grow. And who not only say it, but act on it. Friends who'll push me, and keep me accountable, and actually, I dunno, be an example to me, and inspire me to be an example to them!

There are some girls who I've gotten to know who just blow my mind. They LOVE God, they want to see me LOVE God, and they don't just want to talk about boys and such (though we do that too), they want to have meaningful conversations, something I've really been missing lately.

But how do I make the transition away from the people I feel are pushing me backwards? I still want to be friends, and spend time with them, but I don't want to be around them so often that I allow myself to lose focus. In fact, I want to be able to spend time on my own, completely by myself, to do things on my own. I don't need a bloody sidekick. Yes people, there ARE days when I don't want to spoon, or be petted, or anything. Hello, introvert. Aka, I need my space now and then or I honestly will break down. Such as now. I'm insane. That's right folks, I'm going crazy, anyone along for the ride?

I'm sick of my roomy being here 24/7 and always finding something wrong. Like honestly, shut up. It's really hard to love someone who is just a bother all the time. Ugh... I feel so awful saying that. I take it back, she's really sweet.

You know what, I think I need to go read. Please comment, I'm lonely.